More Than the Grammys? The Music Pantheon

As you may know, I'm a lifelong music-lover and musician that comes from long line of music-loving musicians. I grew up surrounded by the sounds of my grandmother–a charter member of the USO–singing and playing jazz tunes from her career in WWII, while my mom, aunts, and uncles strummed, played, and sang the music of The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Neil Young, and a bunch of other stuff (from the very famous to the very random, like my mom's cover of Patsy Cline's "Crazy," my Aunt Terese's renditions of "Teddy Bear Picnic" and the waltz from the 1951 Scrooge, starring Alistair Sim, and my Uncle Joe's hilarious "Mama, Yo Quiero").

As for me, I started playing the piano and singing with my grandmother when I was very young. Over the years, I took up the piano–first classically and then branching out into jazz and rock–trumpet, percussion, voice, and a bunch of other things. I've tried my hand at rock, classical music, conducting, composing, and just about everything else (to varying degrees of success). Needless to say, music has always been and will always be a central part of my identity.

So, with another Grammys behind us, I thought I'd give my take on a few things musical, in the form of what I want to call THE MUSICAL PANTHEON, a possibly-controversial table showing who I think ranks where in the musical stratosphere. Because you know, it's easy to get caught up in NOW! THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUSIC 3,458 and forget just how much work and talent it takes to "make it," and I think it's worth remembering–albeit with limits–the great women and men who have shaped the music industry making it the sometimes praiseworthy and sometimes ludicrous thing it is today.

Let me know what you think, and I'll add your suggestions to the chart (this definitely isn't exhaustive, or disagree with you and start Twitter wars that put Iggy to shame.

Without further adieu, here goes!

---

THE OLYMPIAN GODDESSES

Those women permanently enshrined in music history.

Ella Fitzgerald, Queen of Jazz and Mother of the Gods

Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul and Queen of the Gods

Diana Ross, Queen of the 60's

Whitney Houston, Queen of the Belt

Céline Dion, Co-Queen of the Belt

Madonna, Queen of Pop

Janet Jackson, Co-Queen of Pop

Stevie Nicks, Queen of Rock

Dolly Parton, Queen of Country

The Season Draws Near: "Father Christmas"

FATHER CHRISTMAS

They often asked him for a story. But telling stories had never quite worked for him. No, he was a farmer: a tree farmer, to be exact. And farming, especially winter farming, was solitary work.

Although his chapped lips rarely moved in speech, warmth radiated from his deep brown eyes when he smiled, something he did freely and often. His face glowed with the light of youth, despite his having worked in evergreen fields through countless Indiana winters.

Years passed, quickly and slowly.

Saturday Morning Poetry: "Angling"

"Angling"

His skin like parchment
Stretches, stretches, stretches
Over bones hallowed by salt sea
In the dim, red light of morning

And in the pulsing flame of warnings
Issuing from white towers,
Unheard but not unheeded by
Eyes weary but unblinking,
Aware of the fragility of each wave
That rises, then breaks,
Forgotten on cold stone.

His lines fly silently on unrelenting winds,
Angle wordlessly over sparkling gray and green,
Cold depths concealing
A scaly world of slimy life--

Life!
The place of origins
That feeds the multitudes
Ever and still,
Still.

He has no need for angling,
Not that kind, anyway.
Angling has taught
What anglers never learn:

Time will take care of most things.
Salt wounds fade, while
Tides rise and recede,
Rise and recede--
And days dawn and die,
Dawn and die.

Creation, Evolution, and Faith, Part 3: The Problem With Integration

In Part 1, I looked at models for understanding the interaction of science and religion. In Part 2, I argued that there's not a debate between science and religion, because there's no reason why the two should be considered to be in conflict at all. If you haven't checked those out yet, I'd recommend giving them a quick read before you continue.

Here in Part 3, I'll look at the possibility of the "integration" of science and religion. Integration puts the data of science and the data of faith in a harmonious one-to-one relationship. Because there's only one set of data, science and religion ultimately fit one another hand in glove. Phenomena like evolution might turn out to be revelation of God's "design" and the play of law and chance might turn out to be the "place" where God works.

For Integration, the Book of Nature and the Book of Scripture don't just have one author.  They're the same book.

8 Tricks to Stay Awake During Mass

We've all been there.  

After a late night out, you drag yourself out of bed to join your compadres in faith for Sunday morning Mass. Unfortunately, this time of prayer is all-too-often more sedative than celebration, making the simple act of staying awake for these 58-62 minutes no small feat. What's a good Catholic to do?

Here are eight tricks for keeping the eyelids open and the brain alert during even the most soporific celebrations of the Eucharist. Use them, and use them well.

1.  Go to the Bathroom. Twice.

As children, Catholics don't just learn about Jesus, Mary, Joseph, saints, rosaries, angels, and tasteless wafers. In their most formative years, Catholics also learn that trips to the bathroom are the easiest way to pass time during a dull homily or blandly-delivered Eucharistic Prayer. But why make one trip when you can go twice? Carefully plot your escape, once during the Liturgy of the World and once during the Liturgy of the Eucharist. That should be enough to carry you through.

Maybe you'll actually pee one of the two times!

2.  Play "Name That Saint"

Statues, statues everywhere! But can you name that saint? Pass a few minutes studying the statues around you, looking for clues to the identities of the immobile men and women that surround us during Mass. St. Jude might have fire above his head, and St. Teresa might be holding a flower. See if you can figure out who's who. This game is even better with a partner.

But be careful not to talk too loud:  God (and the old lady behind you) are watching!

3.  Plan Your Own "Catholic Greatest Hits" Album (or the music for your wedding or funeral!)

Hymnals are more than good paperweights and toys for the kids (watch the crayons!). They're a compendium of music that we know and love - and hate (Here I Am, Lord? Classic. On Eagle's Wings? Ugh. So overplayed.). So, spend some time perusing the hymnal. Pick out your top ten songs, or pick the music for your wedding or funeral. Or design your own wallpaper.

Marry 'em and bury 'em.  That's what the Church does best!

4.  Volunteer to Cary Up the Gifts

This one is easy and contributes to the Mass! What a win-win! Worrying about falling asleep will keep you awake through the first half of Mass. The halftime exercise of walking to the altar and bowing (oh, the bowing!) will get the blood flowing well enough to carry you through to Communion, when you'll get to move around again.

Maybe you can even snag a snack on the way. Those hosts really hit the spot.