Chapter 1:
A man walks into his psychologist's office. No, maybe it was his psychiatrist. I can't remember. Anyway, he walks into an office for a regular therapy session.
"Good morning, Sarah," the doctor says. "Today we're going to try a new diagnostic. It's called a Rorschach blot test. It's simple. I'm going to show you a picture, and you tell me what you see. Ready?"
"Yes," she answered. He held up the first image.
"What do you see?"
"Nothing," replied Sarah.
"And now?"
"Nothing." The doctor jotted down some notes.
He continued, "Now?"
"Still nothing."
Perplexed, the doctor said, "Sarah, you seem to be very depressed. Obsessed with nothingness."
She answered, "You would be, too, if you were blind. And by the way, I'm a woman." She left, never to return again.
"Good morning, Sarah," the doctor says. "Today we're going to try a new diagnostic. It's called a Rorschach blot test. It's simple. I'm going to show you a picture, and you tell me what you see. Ready?"
"Yes," she answered. He held up the first image.
"What do you see?"
"Nothing," replied Sarah.
"And now?"
"Nothing." The doctor jotted down some notes.
He continued, "Now?"
"Still nothing."
Perplexed, the doctor said, "Sarah, you seem to be very depressed. Obsessed with nothingness."
She answered, "You would be, too, if you were blind. And by the way, I'm a woman." She left, never to return again.
Chapter 2:
Light filters through drawn blinds, casting yellow stripes on the heavy cherry desk of psychiatrist - or psychologist - Doctor Inanos (he's Greek). Across the desk sits his patient, Sarah.
"Good morning, Sarah," the doctor says. "Today we're going to try a new diagnostic. It's called a Rorschach blot test. It's simple. I'm going to show you a picture, and you tell me what you see. Ready?"
"Yes," she answers. He held up the first image.
"What do you see?"
"Nothing," replies Sarah.
"And now?"
"Nothing." Deja vu strikes. The doctor jots down some notes.
He continues, "Now?"
"Still nothing."
Annoyed, the doctor says, "Sarah, are you blind?"
"What? No!" she answers, a bit exasperated.
"Then tell me why you keep saying you see nothing. Are you depressed?"
"I can't see. I've got my eyes closed," she says, smiling. She might've stuck out her tongue, too. I can't recall.
"Good morning, Sarah," the doctor says. "Today we're going to try a new diagnostic. It's called a Rorschach blot test. It's simple. I'm going to show you a picture, and you tell me what you see. Ready?"
"Yes," she answers. He held up the first image.
"What do you see?"
"Nothing," replies Sarah.
"And now?"
"Nothing." Deja vu strikes. The doctor jots down some notes.
He continues, "Now?"
"Still nothing."
Annoyed, the doctor says, "Sarah, are you blind?"
"What? No!" she answers, a bit exasperated.
"Then tell me why you keep saying you see nothing. Are you depressed?"
"I can't see. I've got my eyes closed," she says, smiling. She might've stuck out her tongue, too. I can't recall.
Chapter 3:
Yesterday afternoon, Dr. Inanos met his patient, Sarah. It was raining outside.
"Good morning, Sarah," he said. "Today we're going to try a new diagnostic. It's called a Rorschach blot test. It's simple. I'm going to show you a picture, and you tell me what you see. Ready?"
"Yes," she answered. He held up the first image.
"What do you see?"
"Clouds," replied Sarah.
"And now?"
"Clouds." Dr. Inanos was livid.
He shouted, "NOW?"
"Still nothing."
Furious, the doctor said, "My God, Sarah, what is wrong with you?"
"Nothing!" she shouted back. "Or if there is, you should tell me! You're the doctor!"
"Then tell me why you keep saying you see clouds."
"It's blurry. I'm squinting," she said. The rain continued.
"Good morning, Sarah," he said. "Today we're going to try a new diagnostic. It's called a Rorschach blot test. It's simple. I'm going to show you a picture, and you tell me what you see. Ready?"
"Yes," she answered. He held up the first image.
"What do you see?"
"Clouds," replied Sarah.
"And now?"
"Clouds." Dr. Inanos was livid.
He shouted, "NOW?"
"Still nothing."
Furious, the doctor said, "My God, Sarah, what is wrong with you?"
"Nothing!" she shouted back. "Or if there is, you should tell me! You're the doctor!"
"Then tell me why you keep saying you see clouds."
"It's blurry. I'm squinting," she said. The rain continued.
Chapter 4:
Dr. Inanos (the Greek) tore his hair.
"Why are all my patients named Sarah?!" He couldn't take it. So he jumped. Maybe out the window. Maybe in place.
I can't remember.
"Why are all my patients named Sarah?!" He couldn't take it. So he jumped. Maybe out the window. Maybe in place.
I can't remember.
Chapter 5:
You thought it was over? It's not over. That's the thing, isn't it? It's never over.
At least not for Dr. Inanos (who, if you haven't yet heard, is Greek).
The jump wasn't the end. In fact, it wasn't even AN end. It just was. And once again, here he is, facing his patient, Sarah.
Struggling to stay calm, he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. "Good morning, Sarah. We're going to try something new today: a Rorschach blot test. I'll show you an image, and you tell me what you see. Okay? Ready?"
"Yes, doctor," Sarah replies sweetly.
"Alright, tell me what you see."
She begins, "A street, populated with two children, their pet zebra, and hundreds - no, thousands - of ants."
Dr. Inanos is stunned. Eyes still closed, he smiles. "That's good, Sarah. And now?" He hears a small rustling sound.
"Nothing."
"WHAT?! Nothing?!" His eyes shoot open.
Sarah sits across from him, a bag covering her head.
"Nothing," she says.
Dr. Inanos leaps from chair. Raging, he rips the bag off Sarah's head.
Her eyes are closed.
"Still nothing," she says, a wry smile touching the corners of her mouth.
Dr. Inanos falls to the floor. He might be dead. I don't remember. But he never practiced anything again. Except piano.
But he never was very good.
At least not for Dr. Inanos (who, if you haven't yet heard, is Greek).
The jump wasn't the end. In fact, it wasn't even AN end. It just was. And once again, here he is, facing his patient, Sarah.
Struggling to stay calm, he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. "Good morning, Sarah. We're going to try something new today: a Rorschach blot test. I'll show you an image, and you tell me what you see. Okay? Ready?"
"Yes, doctor," Sarah replies sweetly.
"Alright, tell me what you see."
She begins, "A street, populated with two children, their pet zebra, and hundreds - no, thousands - of ants."
Dr. Inanos is stunned. Eyes still closed, he smiles. "That's good, Sarah. And now?" He hears a small rustling sound.
"Nothing."
"WHAT?! Nothing?!" His eyes shoot open.
Sarah sits across from him, a bag covering her head.
"Nothing," she says.
Dr. Inanos leaps from chair. Raging, he rips the bag off Sarah's head.
Her eyes are closed.
"Still nothing," she says, a wry smile touching the corners of her mouth.
Dr. Inanos falls to the floor. He might be dead. I don't remember. But he never practiced anything again. Except piano.
But he never was very good.
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